Mother's Day, In Waiting

To my dear sisters and brothers in waiting, deeply desiring to grow their family:

First, I'm sorry. Hope deferred is so painful. And even harder when that hope of getting pregnant cyclically builds and is crushed. Or in having an adoption fail or the finalization of the adoption prolonged, seemingly endlessly.

To tritely throw a verse at you about patience seems heartless, and to boldly claim a happy ending about the unknown future is unhelpful. Are there many happy endings? Yes. Does hearing those bright, shiny, happy endings help those in the depth and heaviness of waiting? Perhaps... but often not. And then there are times like Mother’s Day approaching when your already-heavy heart feels trampled.

Maybe you're searching to understand WHY God may have called you to wait... because He could easily change your circumstances. 

I don't know why He has orchestrated this type of suffering for you. But He has, for now. I hope He sends the blessing of children into your family, whether biological or through adoption...but He alone knows the ending to your story. Whether He does or not, this season of painful waiting can often lend to questioning and searching about self and about God. One of the hardest, yet most helpful questions I was asked during our waiting was this:

"If God is good and all-powerful, yet He chooses never to give you children, will you still trust Him?" Wow. What a zinger.

So, in the midst of this trial, if someone (particularly someone who has no idea about the weight of this trial!) shares a verse with you, graciously accept it. Not as a trite band-aid (even if they speak it flippantly, as people often do when they're unsure of what to say!), but as an anchor for your heart, mind and soul. 

In the times of grief bearing down on you, when it's elevated by holidays like Mother's Day, Christ alone can bring comfort. Take your pain, your exasperation from waiting, your hope deferred, and tell it to Him (He knows it anyway!). Take your desires, disappointments (and every other emotion!) to Him in prayer. Seek His face. True worship of Him corrects our perspective, taking our eyes off of ourselves and onto Christ. 

Take a moment and praise Him. Praying Psalms 40 to Him is a good place to start.


Ginny Hobbs